Leaving my Street

In Annie, one of my favorite movies, Annie tells Mr. Warbucks that she has never seen NYC even though she has lived there her entire life. I was always so confused about how that could even be possible. NYC is such a huge city with so many places and landmarks to go explore. How could you possibly contain yourself to just a few nearby streets when the whole city was there for the taking? I understand how that is possible now. I have lived in the same city for a month, and I have been hardly anywhere in it, let alone left it.
There is so much that could be seen here. There is so much that could be done. And there is a whole country to be seen outside of this city.

I realized one day last week that I hadn't gone anywhere off the street that I live on for about 3 days. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? My brain doesn't comprehend how that could happen.

City living is the polar opposite of country living. In the city there is no need to drive anywhere, for me there is really no need to leave this street. I have a couple grocery stores, a mall, a couple pubs, two icecream shops, a bunch of restaurants, post office, and a couple banks within 4 minutes of walking. How incredibly different from home! There's a few houses within four minutes of walking... A couple fields... That's about it. There's even been a few days that I literally have not left the building. Absolutely crazy.

When I first got here, I thought this city was huge, unending. It's really not though. My perception has changed. It is still overwhelming to think of the pain and poverty and oppression contained in these city streets. When I allow that thought to overwhelm me, it paralyzes me - keeps me from doing the good I know I ought to do. I love the quote from Mother Teresa: "Not all of us can do great things, but we can do small things with great love." And that helps me focus not on the masses, but on the homeless man sleeping on a cardboard box in the metro station or the lonely old lady waving and blowing kisses from her window. Focusing not on problems in mass gives people individual worth. Instead of numbers, it gives people faces.

There is so much more to do, to see, to be than what we isolate ourselves to. We get caught in our street of comfortable safety, the street that we know. We don't venture out of that safe zone. We don't experience all the wonder and beauty that is just around the corner. I guess this really isn't just contained to where we live but how we live. I stayed in my safe zone of friends, people that I was comfortable with, who knew me. It is still so hard for me to venture out and to be vulnerable with new people. But then I think about all of the beautiful friendships I could have if I realized that people actually aren't scary. They're people, just like me. They have their insecurities too. So, if I ignore my insecurities, others might ignore theirs and something wonderful might occur. I can imagine a world where people aren't scared of what others think of their outward appearance because the focus is on who they are not what they look like. I can imagine a world where we honor people not because of their performance or abilities, looks or wealth, but we honor them because they are created in the image and likeness of a God who loves all of us unconditionally. Maybe if I face my fears, those around me will have the courage to face theirs. Maybe if I let myself be me, others can be free to be who they were made to be.

Our lives are about relationship, community. Our lives are about love. I can do anything I want, but if I don't do it with love toward the individual - the person, the soul, the life - it is a wasted action.

So all of that to say, this city's not so big. But it is at the same time.