Community, Sheep and Voices.

Living in a community setting is so different. And sometimes hard. There is so much joy to be found in sharing and living together though. We are meant to be communal, but, if we are in it selfishly, we miss out on  what it could actually be. Living in community is about corporate good not individual gain. It is about looking past the outer layers and shells of people and seeing their real needs, and having a desire to meet those needs. It's looking past personality differences and seeing them the way Jesus sees them. And it's about seeing Jesus in them. If we are focused on Jesus, silly things that frustrate and annoy us become much less time and energy consuming.

On a different note... It always amazes me how God chooses to speak to me and others. And it's incredible how, when we take time and make time to hear from Him, He will speak. Maybe it will be through images, impressions, words or verses. Or maybe He won't speak right then at all. Do we have the faith to let Him not speak right when we expect or want Him to?

I love how God uses others to confirm and encourage you. And then how we can turn around and do the same for others. I think the gift of encouragement is one of the most precious gifts God has given us. Not only does it build up others, but it also gives affirmation to you that God does speak and He does care. When we put encouragement together with deep, heartfelt Jesus-love for others, the way that lives can change are endless. Even better, God's voice will always be strengthening, encouraging, and comforting.

We have to be careful though; we can be so easily deceived.

Jesus compares people to sheep frequently in the Gospels, but it is also a very common comparison in the entire Bible. I've heard tons of sermons and read lots of devotionals about the whole sheep people thing. But hearing God's voice is something that I've been struggling with a lot over the last year or so. How do I know when it's God and when it's something or someone else?

But sheep. Sheep are stupid, but so are we. There is something cool about sheep though - especially sheep from the Bible times. Or maybe sheep in the mountains of Scotland or Wales. Or in Shorty's barn. They know the voice of their shepherd. They also know when the person speaking is not their shepherd. Jesus says over and over, "I know my sheep and my sheep know me" and "My sheep listen to my voice; I know them and they follow me". I love this verse: "But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger's voice."

If I am a sheep....... I should know my Shepherd's voice. I should be able to distinguish between the One who wants to make me lie down in green pastures and lead me beside still waters and the evil one who wants to lead me far from safety and into the wilderness where lions want to tear me apart and there is no food or water to satisfy me.

Therefore Jesus said again, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

Why would I not spend time with my sweet Redeemer so that I recognize His voice? Just like anyone that you love, you can pick out their voice or their laugh in any crowd of people in any situation. Shouldn't that be the way it is between me and Jesus? I want to run far away from anything that keeps me from knowing and hearing His voice. I am desperate to know Him more.

Food for thought: What if God wants to speak more than we want to listen?

Brussels Impressions

I can't believe that I am writing this from the 6th floor of an old building in Brussels, which I now call home. Never would I have imagined that this would be my life at this time, but I don't think I would trade it for anything.

Trams run loudly through the streets. Voices call to each other. Boisterous laughter fills the air. Languages from all over the world chatter back and forth in a kind of international dish - each language a spice that adds flavor to the taste. A moped goes by like an angry hornet. The night life of Brussels.

I sat on the roof this evening skyping with a friend. I was blown away by what I saw while I was up there. The city goes on and on - an unending sea of tiled roofs and tall buildings. You can sense the history of each terrace and balcony. The sun and clouds created an aura of a time not that long ago when maybe life was simpler and the need to be busy was not a thing to be concerned with. When maybe time was really like the old photographs.

The noise is unending. Some say Brussels is a spiritually dead city - that it is not ever going to change. I don't believe that. Noise means life. It's when we become silent that we die inside.

As I've wandered through Brussels the last two days, I keep asking myself what a small town Oregon girl is doing in a city like this. God must have me confused with another Katy from the States. I stand by these old buildings and monuments surrounded by people I can't understand, and I feel so small. But I know I'm not. Face after face, soul after soul walk by me. I can't help but wonder what their story is, what they have been through, what they will be. I remember that I am here to tell them my story about where I have been and what God has made me to be. I am not really all that small. I have a place here in Brussels. I have a purpose. I might not understand what my purpose is yet, but it is not to simply be another face in the crowd.

"Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Relent, O Lord! How long will it be? Have compassion on your servants. Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble. Make your deeds be shown to your servants, your splendor to their children. May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us - yes, establish the work of our hands." Ps. 90:12-17

Melted milk chocolate on a freshly baked waffle is life changing.

Reigniting

I've been living the dream this summer. From 5 weeks of camp to some of the best times with my closest friends to flying halfway across the world to spend 7 weeks with one of the coolest people ever to now getting ready to live in Belgium for 6 months. I am so blessed.

But... There is something not quite right. I know exactly what it is. I just don't know how to fix it.

How do you reignite your passion for the best thing you have in your life? How do you regain your desire for your first love? And why did I lose my passion and desire for my Beloved when I need to be close to Him so badly right now?

I think I go in circles. One day I can't get enough of Him, the next I don't want to even spend 5 minutes with Him. I know what's wrong with the off days. I turn my eyes away from Jesus. I start looking at myself and those around me. I compare myself to them, beat myself down for what I deceive myself into thinking are things that make me less than what I really am. I stop focusing on where my heart is supposed to be. I get caught up in what I want selfishly for me.

I think that's what affects my "good" days. I'll go to camp, or hear a sermon that touches my heart, and then BAM! "You're not good enough." And there goes my good day. There goes my focus and my desire. Me. My lack of self confidence. Or more like my confidence in the God who created me just the way I am for a reason.

Now I'm supposed to be going on a 6 month missions trip. I want to be living like I'm on a missions trip now. Like I am called to do. God has someone He wants us to reach out to everyday. And how many days have I let myself sit in self pity and regret instead of doing what I was made to do? Too many. Far too many.

I read a little book a couple times in the last month called The Prayer of Jabez. In it, the author tells a story of a guy who dies and goes to heaven. Peter is showing (we'll call him) George around the pearly mansions, and they come to a building that Peter is reluctant to show. George insists on going in. He finds boxes with names on them. He asks Peter if he has one. Peter slowly nods his head yes, but tells George that he really doesn't want to know what is in it. George, of course, doesn't listen. He finds his box and opens it. Thousands of memories pour out, each with a different ending than what actually happens. Each one was an opportunity that God wanted to bless George with, but George had always been to busy to look for them or even ask to see! George closed the box, full of remorse. What a life he could have had.

I don't want to be George. I don't want to look back on my life and see regret. I want to ask for blessings. I want to make the most of every opportunity. I don't want to have been so focused on me, that I miss you walking by me, hurting and in need of what I hold in my heart. I want to live the life God has for me - to the fullest.

I think it's time for the good days to start again. Right now.